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awakening big picture growth musings spirit success Wealth

What is the most destructive question that everyone asks themselves?

“What’s in it for me?”

This is the underlying question almost everyone has running in the back of their minds.  Someone makes you an offer and you automatically ask it.
“What’s in it for me?”
Parents ask a variation, “What’s in it for my child, my family?”

 

It’s perfectly normal and most everyone does it.

 

So why is it a problem?

Because this question reveals a mindset of lack.
“Gimme, gimme, gimme.”
“Take, take, take.”
It’s the voice of the ego based on fear, insecurity, and a lack of abundance.

 

It’s victim thinking, not a hero.

Poverty Thinking

I experienced this growing up.

 

It was like life was an all you can eat buffet.
But “You better get your money’s worth.”
It’s why cruise ship guests put on their “buffet pants.”
Or the advice of some who say, “don’t fill your plate with the cheap stuff, grab the good stuff.”

 

Now, what if we could shift this to the opposite?

What if we could change the question?
Not
“What’s in it for me?”
But rather

“How can I help?”

Abundance Thinking

By asking this new question, there is an assumption of abundance.  This question assumes you have the power, capacity, and ability to help.  It’s a powerful question. You are tapping into your true gifts. It comes from a deeply spiritual place, not your ego.  There is more than enough to share.

 

We’ve all had ups and downs in our lives.  I personally experienced many magical miracles. And then flipped to complete despair.

 

What I’ve noticed is the presence of the first question and not the latter.  Mindset is the key.

So what is mindset?

A mentor of mine recently gave me an amazingly simple definition:

 

“Mindset is the voice(s) in your head.”

 

That’s so true.  I hear my parents, teachers, and even people I don’t care for speaking in my head.

 

Who put these voices in our heads?

They get installed automatically throughout life.  Parents. Teachers. Relatives. Caregivers. Friends.  Facebook. The media…

 

The thing is, unless you are aware, you are being programmed all the time.  If you let it wash over you daily without consciousness, you are installing these voices.  The prevailing mindset of lack, poverty, and despair.

Reboot

The good news is, you can reinstall new voices.  It’s like upgrading your internal operating system to the latest, greatest version.  You choose your own voice.
Tomorrow, my son turns sixteen.  Sixteen! We’re about to start visiting colleges.  Think about focus of study. Plan out a course for life.
What I want most for him is to flip the questions.  Ask more empowering ones.
“How can I help?”
“What can I offer the world?  
What was I born to do?  
What are my gifts?

What makes me the only one?”

A Lifetime of Questions

Of course, questioning goes on for a lifetime.
We never completely know.  We are always discovering.

 

The journey of life and success IS the journey of discovering the answers to this question.  Life is self-discovery. And this question can change your life.

How can I help?

I hope this awakens something inside of you.  New voices = new life. This goes beyond parenting, music, education, business, whatever.  This is for you. And through you, you will light up the world.
“You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and place it under a basket, but place it on a lamp-stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.   Let your light so shine, so that they may see your good works…” – Matthew 5:14. the Bible

 

Categories
awakening growth success Wealth

What Is The Iceberg Principle Of Successful People?

People are like icebergs.  What we can see is only its tip .  There’s a whole lot going on underneath where we can’t see it.  There is a principle that successful people know.  I call it the “iceberg principle.”  

Success means a lot of different things to people.   No matter your definition of success is, though, I think we can all agree that we feel successful when we are in control of our lives, accomplishing things and feeling like we are making  a contribution to the world.  

The Iceberg Principle

Successful people use the “iceberg principle” to work on what’s underneath the surface.  

Just as icebergs can drift through oceans, melting along the way, many people drift through life until they melt into a puddle of oblivion, irrelevance and regret.   

What keeps some icebergs on a path to doom?  It’s all in the part you don’t see – steering it like a ship’s rudder.  The difference between the lost losers and successful folks  is what’s going on underneath:  their subconscious beliefs.

Subconscious Beliefs Are Controlling You

One of the most powerful subconscious beliefs people hold concerns money and wealth.

You can learn a lot about your or someone else’s iceberg – subconscious beliefs – by asking questions.  

Can you answer this question?

What is the first thing you think of when I ask , “How do you feel about money?”

Or, to put it another way, fill in the blank:  “Money is ____________________.”

Subconscious Beliefs About Money

When I was a young boy, I heard many things about money.  

  • “There’s not enough money.”
  • “Sorry, we can’t afford it.”
  • “What do you think, money grows on trees?”
  • “If we had money we could do it.”
  • “Money is the root of all evil.”

It’s no wonder that I have struggled with money and debt in my life.  

With subconscious beliefs like these, why would I ever want to be involved with  money?

Human Operating System – HOS

These controlling subconscious beliefs are like a human operating system.  Just as a smartphone has iOS  or Android, we humans have an operating system made up of beliefs.  Most of them, however, were never consciously chosen or designed by you.  You picked them up along the way.  And they are still resonating today.

Installing New Beliefs

How much more successful would I be if I grew up with beliefs like:

  • “Money is power.”
  • “Money is freedom.”
  • “Money is compassionate energy that I use to accomplish my goals.”

Skeptic’s Mind

You may think this is just mumbo-jumbo hogwash.  Woo woo New Age crap.  And, to be honest, a part of me is skeptical, too.  But, the childlike wondrous side of me says, why not?  Logically it makes sense.   The way I talk to myself definitely makes a difference.  Look at successful athletes and their powerful self-talk.   

Melt The Limiting Parts

It feels good to expose these limiting beliefs, because just exposing them is like melting these parts of my iceberg.

It’s Not Too Late

Another part of me (and maybe you?) is asking , “Well, isn’t too late?  I am what I am.”  And I get it.  It feels difficult and maybe even foreign to change your beliefs.  But let’s try a little experiment.

The Power Jacket

Over the next 30 days, think of it as if you were wearing a new jacket.  You are borrowing a power jacket.  Maybe it’s a nice blazer that makes you feel powerful, wealthy and in control.

Try saying to yourself, “I deserve to be wealthy.”   See how it feels.  Do you hear voices in your head making  negative or contrary remarks?  Interesting.

Write It Down

Take a blank piece of paper.  Draw a line down the center from top to bottom.  On the left, write the sentence “I deserve to be wealthy.”  On the right column, write whatever comes up.  It could be negative.  It could the voice of a relative.  Maybe it’s your father or mother.  Or maybe a neighbor or teacher?  

Do it at least twenty times.  Each time, write the corresponding response.  

Over time, you will notice the responses changing.  It’s very interesting!  Almost like a dialogue inside yourself.

Do it everyday until the responses change from negative to positive.  At some point, you may even “recruit” a supporter from that inner voice.

It sounds crazy and magical.  And it is.

Spending Money

Anytime you spend some money, tell yourself, “There’s plenty more where that came from.”

Holding on to money fearfully as if there were  not enough is also blocking the flow of wealth in your life.

By spending money  consciously, you add energy to the whole system and that energy  flows back to you.  We will talk more about this in a future post.

Money is just one area of your iceberg.  You can easily use the iceberg principle for health, relationships, spirituality and more.

Ancient Wisdom

These are not new ideas.  You can find them in every country  and spiritual tradition in the world.  But it seems we are a forgetful lot and easily distracted by shiny objects.  

Take some time for yourself to understand the iceberg principle.  

Carve the unseen part of your iceberg to guide you to new bluer oceans.  Send me a postcard when you land.  I’d love to know about your journey.

 

 

Categories
growth joyful living

How To Design An Exceptional Life

Are you feeling stuck?  There’s a way to take control of your life.   Whether you are looking to increase your wealth, health or happiness, this will make a difference.  You can design an exceptional life.  And you can get started right now.

To begin, let’s clear  the decks.  Your mental space, physical space;distractions ,noise.

Take a moment.  Shut the door.  Turn off all the sounds.  If you need to, get outside of your normal environment.  Nature can be therapeutic.

Let It Go

Using breath awareness can quickly transform your emotional and mental state.
Sit comfortably.   Take in a deep breathe and let out all the stress and anxiety of the day.  Breathe in, let it out, and do it again.  Flush out all the toxins by breathing out as long as you can until your stomach caves in.  Try to make your lungs as empty as possible with each breath.

Get Yourself in A Resourceful State

Breathe in deeply.  Now let it out slowly to a count of five.  Do this 5 times.
Now you are ready to tap into your greatest resources with questions.

Ask A Better Question

To improve the quality of a life, it begins with questions.  Isn’t thinking just questions?  (Hey, that’s a question!)

Most of us have the same average questions running in the operating systems of our minds.  They were installed long ago without us even thinking.

It’s funny when comedians say it, because they give voice to what’s inside our heads.
“Ugh, why do I have to go to work today?”
“Is he looking at me weird?  Why does everyone hate me?”
“Ugh, I can’t believe I did that.  What’s wrong with me?”

These types of statements and questions are so common and yet so damaging.  They make you feel terrible.  Would you speak to someone you care about in that manner? Then why do you speak to yourself that way?  These negative questions set a standard because the way they are phrased make it seem that they contain truth- but they don’t..

“Why does everyone hate me?”

Really?   I am hated – is that really true?  Of course not!
“What’s wrong with me” presupposes that there is something actually wrong with me.

These types of questions take you down a certain path that do not lead you to your best resourceful self and to your own exceptional life.

Here’s some daily questions I use to put myself in a fantastic state.

1) What Is My Mission?

Do you have a goal or goals?  What about more than a goal, do you have a purpose?  A mission?
By writing it down daily, it steeps into your consciousness.  It gets into your blood, your body, and triggers the magic.

2) If I Could Live Today Over Again?

Time is fleeting.  When I became a father, I became much more aware of time.  It’s incredible how fast it goes.  When my son was two, it was difficult as I was sleeping very little.  But then it was gone so quick.  He went from crawling to standing to walking to running and riding a bike.  It’s crazy.  By answering this question BEFORE the day begins, I become aware of what’s important right now and what I  NEED to do to make my use of this time complete.

3) What Is My Theme For This Year?

For the past few years, I’ve been using a theme to motivate myself.  It’s different than a goal which is usually external.  This is how I will act, be and feel as I move towards this goal.   Example, “The year of compassionate kindness and loving myself.”

4) What Do I Get To Enjoy Today?

You ever feel like everyone is having all the fun?  That everyone really is living like their Instagram and Facebook feeds?  To quiet this part of the mind, I use this question.  By answering it, I get to know that I have taken time to choose an activity that I too will enjoy today.  It’s important to have time to do what you enjoy.

Read a detective mystery.  Walk in the park.  Sit by the water.  Have a cup of tea.

5) Who or What am I Most Grateful For?

Gratitude has been shown to be the most important feeling for happiness in life.  So ask yourself a question that makes you feel grateful.  Start your day with gratitude flowing through your whole body.

I spend a few minutes giving thanks to my Creator.  My family, our well-being, our love and health.  My mentors, angels, teachers and associates who guide and help me every single day.  My Mom who left the world way too soon and gave me so many talents, gifts and confidence.  Thank you.  My mother-in-law, who taught me about kindness, compassion and welcomed me into her family.  My friend, mentor and teacher, Andy Blackett who has shaped my life in so many ways.

But Isn’t This Just Talking To Myself?

I know there is skepticism as to how asking yourself different questions  can actually do anything.  “I’m just talking to myself” you may say. But the way you talk to yourself, your “self-talk” or thoughts actually shape the way you experience your reality. Nothing is more important than learning to ask yourself the right questions to begin designing your exceptional life!

In future posts, I’ll delve into the metaphysical magic that makes this all work.  And I’d love to know how you get on with your lifestyle design.  Please share in the comments below.