Categories
awakening big picture growth musings spirit success Wealth

What is the most destructive question that everyone asks themselves?

“What’s in it for me?”

This is the underlying question almost everyone has running in the back of their minds.  Someone makes you an offer and you automatically ask it.
“What’s in it for me?”
Parents ask a variation, “What’s in it for my child, my family?”

 

It’s perfectly normal and most everyone does it.

 

So why is it a problem?

Because this question reveals a mindset of lack.
“Gimme, gimme, gimme.”
“Take, take, take.”
It’s the voice of the ego based on fear, insecurity, and a lack of abundance.

 

It’s victim thinking, not a hero.

Poverty Thinking

I experienced this growing up.

 

It was like life was an all you can eat buffet.
But “You better get your money’s worth.”
It’s why cruise ship guests put on their “buffet pants.”
Or the advice of some who say, “don’t fill your plate with the cheap stuff, grab the good stuff.”

 

Now, what if we could shift this to the opposite?

What if we could change the question?
Not
“What’s in it for me?”
But rather

“How can I help?”

Abundance Thinking

By asking this new question, there is an assumption of abundance.  This question assumes you have the power, capacity, and ability to help.  It’s a powerful question. You are tapping into your true gifts. It comes from a deeply spiritual place, not your ego.  There is more than enough to share.

 

We’ve all had ups and downs in our lives.  I personally experienced many magical miracles. And then flipped to complete despair.

 

What I’ve noticed is the presence of the first question and not the latter.  Mindset is the key.

So what is mindset?

A mentor of mine recently gave me an amazingly simple definition:

 

“Mindset is the voice(s) in your head.”

 

That’s so true.  I hear my parents, teachers, and even people I don’t care for speaking in my head.

 

Who put these voices in our heads?

They get installed automatically throughout life.  Parents. Teachers. Relatives. Caregivers. Friends.  Facebook. The media…

 

The thing is, unless you are aware, you are being programmed all the time.  If you let it wash over you daily without consciousness, you are installing these voices.  The prevailing mindset of lack, poverty, and despair.

Reboot

The good news is, you can reinstall new voices.  It’s like upgrading your internal operating system to the latest, greatest version.  You choose your own voice.
Tomorrow, my son turns sixteen.  Sixteen! We’re about to start visiting colleges.  Think about focus of study. Plan out a course for life.
What I want most for him is to flip the questions.  Ask more empowering ones.
“How can I help?”
“What can I offer the world?  
What was I born to do?  
What are my gifts?

What makes me the only one?”

A Lifetime of Questions

Of course, questioning goes on for a lifetime.
We never completely know.  We are always discovering.

 

The journey of life and success IS the journey of discovering the answers to this question.  Life is self-discovery. And this question can change your life.

How can I help?

I hope this awakens something inside of you.  New voices = new life. This goes beyond parenting, music, education, business, whatever.  This is for you. And through you, you will light up the world.
“You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and place it under a basket, but place it on a lamp-stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.   Let your light so shine, so that they may see your good works…” – Matthew 5:14. the Bible

 

Categories
growth joyful living

How To Design An Exceptional Life

Are you feeling stuck?  There’s a way to take control of your life.   Whether you are looking to increase your wealth, health or happiness, this will make a difference.  You can design an exceptional life.  And you can get started right now.

To begin, let’s clear  the decks.  Your mental space, physical space;distractions ,noise.

Take a moment.  Shut the door.  Turn off all the sounds.  If you need to, get outside of your normal environment.  Nature can be therapeutic.

Let It Go

Using breath awareness can quickly transform your emotional and mental state.
Sit comfortably.   Take in a deep breathe and let out all the stress and anxiety of the day.  Breathe in, let it out, and do it again.  Flush out all the toxins by breathing out as long as you can until your stomach caves in.  Try to make your lungs as empty as possible with each breath.

Get Yourself in A Resourceful State

Breathe in deeply.  Now let it out slowly to a count of five.  Do this 5 times.
Now you are ready to tap into your greatest resources with questions.

Ask A Better Question

To improve the quality of a life, it begins with questions.  Isn’t thinking just questions?  (Hey, that’s a question!)

Most of us have the same average questions running in the operating systems of our minds.  They were installed long ago without us even thinking.

It’s funny when comedians say it, because they give voice to what’s inside our heads.
“Ugh, why do I have to go to work today?”
“Is he looking at me weird?  Why does everyone hate me?”
“Ugh, I can’t believe I did that.  What’s wrong with me?”

These types of statements and questions are so common and yet so damaging.  They make you feel terrible.  Would you speak to someone you care about in that manner? Then why do you speak to yourself that way?  These negative questions set a standard because the way they are phrased make it seem that they contain truth- but they don’t..

“Why does everyone hate me?”

Really?   I am hated – is that really true?  Of course not!
“What’s wrong with me” presupposes that there is something actually wrong with me.

These types of questions take you down a certain path that do not lead you to your best resourceful self and to your own exceptional life.

Here’s some daily questions I use to put myself in a fantastic state.

1) What Is My Mission?

Do you have a goal or goals?  What about more than a goal, do you have a purpose?  A mission?
By writing it down daily, it steeps into your consciousness.  It gets into your blood, your body, and triggers the magic.

2) If I Could Live Today Over Again?

Time is fleeting.  When I became a father, I became much more aware of time.  It’s incredible how fast it goes.  When my son was two, it was difficult as I was sleeping very little.  But then it was gone so quick.  He went from crawling to standing to walking to running and riding a bike.  It’s crazy.  By answering this question BEFORE the day begins, I become aware of what’s important right now and what I  NEED to do to make my use of this time complete.

3) What Is My Theme For This Year?

For the past few years, I’ve been using a theme to motivate myself.  It’s different than a goal which is usually external.  This is how I will act, be and feel as I move towards this goal.   Example, “The year of compassionate kindness and loving myself.”

4) What Do I Get To Enjoy Today?

You ever feel like everyone is having all the fun?  That everyone really is living like their Instagram and Facebook feeds?  To quiet this part of the mind, I use this question.  By answering it, I get to know that I have taken time to choose an activity that I too will enjoy today.  It’s important to have time to do what you enjoy.

Read a detective mystery.  Walk in the park.  Sit by the water.  Have a cup of tea.

5) Who or What am I Most Grateful For?

Gratitude has been shown to be the most important feeling for happiness in life.  So ask yourself a question that makes you feel grateful.  Start your day with gratitude flowing through your whole body.

I spend a few minutes giving thanks to my Creator.  My family, our well-being, our love and health.  My mentors, angels, teachers and associates who guide and help me every single day.  My Mom who left the world way too soon and gave me so many talents, gifts and confidence.  Thank you.  My mother-in-law, who taught me about kindness, compassion and welcomed me into her family.  My friend, mentor and teacher, Andy Blackett who has shaped my life in so many ways.

But Isn’t This Just Talking To Myself?

I know there is skepticism as to how asking yourself different questions  can actually do anything.  “I’m just talking to myself” you may say. But the way you talk to yourself, your “self-talk” or thoughts actually shape the way you experience your reality. Nothing is more important than learning to ask yourself the right questions to begin designing your exceptional life!

In future posts, I’ll delve into the metaphysical magic that makes this all work.  And I’d love to know how you get on with your lifestyle design.  Please share in the comments below.

 

Categories
awakening big picture inspirational quotes joyful living spirit

What favorite quote has changed your life?

What favorite quote inspires and uplifts you? 

Do you have a favorite quote you live by?

Mine comes from a Zen Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh.  It has resonated throughout my being for decades now.

“My actions are the ground I stand on.”

It is so powerful yet simple.  Stop talking and do it.  Do the right thing.  For if you do not, you are standing on quicksand.

“My actions are the ground I stand on.”

At the end of a life, what else will you have? 

All the material possessions, they turn to dust.  They are just trinkets, baubles or as Robert Kiyosaki calls them, “doodads.”  Meaningless.

But to have live a life of right minded action?  The experiences, results, all flow from how we be and do.

A few thousand years ago, Siddhartha Gautama, a man, became known as the enlightened one.  The Buddha.  His teachings became what is now known as either a religion or a philosophy depending on who you talk to.  One of the most powerful teachings is the Eightfold Path.

These 8 steps lead to a path of a good and successful life.  It’s a Middle Way – not too hot and not too cold.  Just right.  It’s like the original 7 Habits of Highly Successful People!  Only one louder!

Here is the Eightfold Path

  1. Right Understanding
  2. Right Intent
  3. Right Speech
  4. Right Action
  5. Right Livelihood
  6. Right Effort
  7. Right Mindfulness
  8. Right Concentration

These are not rigid rules or commandments.  It’s not authoritarian.  It’s a self-help book.  It’s the original coaching program.  Thanks Sidd!

Anyone Can Use Them

And you don’t have to call yourself Buddhist to benefit.  These days I call myself Catholic and Buddhist.  Perhaps one day I’ll expand that to other labels too.

But there’s no conflict.  All spiritual paths are good.  There is no difference.

Really.

Sure there are religious practices that look different from the outside.

  • Making the sign of the cross.
  • Bowing to Mecca.
  • Chanting in Hebrew.
  • Chanting in Latin.
  • Chanting in Sanskrit or Pali.

It’s all the same with minor external differences.

The real culprit in the world is absolutism

Puritanism.  Fundamentalism.  Holding too strongly to anything.  I’ve seen it in all areas of life.  Snobbery leads to arrogance leads to condescension and separatism.  It’s tribalism.

There are coffee snobs who would never ever drink Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.

Wine purists who do not drink Merlot.

Music teachers who have frozen in time all methods of certain master teachers as if time stood still.

People who judge others by the shoes they wear, the cars they drive, the words they use.

Hmm.  That’s it.  Judgement

“No judgements.”  That’s another good quote to live by.

It gets in the way.  Acceptance is the new middle way.

And to accept I need to change my thinking, being and doing.

“My actions are the ground I stand on.”