Categories
awakening big picture growth musings spirit success Wealth

What is the most destructive question that everyone asks themselves?

“What’s in it for me?”

This is the underlying question almost everyone has running in the back of their minds.  Someone makes you an offer and you automatically ask it.
“What’s in it for me?”
Parents ask a variation, “What’s in it for my child, my family?”

 

It’s perfectly normal and most everyone does it.

 

So why is it a problem?

Because this question reveals a mindset of lack.
“Gimme, gimme, gimme.”
“Take, take, take.”
It’s the voice of the ego based on fear, insecurity, and a lack of abundance.

 

It’s victim thinking, not a hero.

Poverty Thinking

I experienced this growing up.

 

It was like life was an all you can eat buffet.
But “You better get your money’s worth.”
It’s why cruise ship guests put on their “buffet pants.”
Or the advice of some who say, “don’t fill your plate with the cheap stuff, grab the good stuff.”

 

Now, what if we could shift this to the opposite?

What if we could change the question?
Not
“What’s in it for me?”
But rather

“How can I help?”

Abundance Thinking

By asking this new question, there is an assumption of abundance.  This question assumes you have the power, capacity, and ability to help.  It’s a powerful question. You are tapping into your true gifts. It comes from a deeply spiritual place, not your ego.  There is more than enough to share.

 

We’ve all had ups and downs in our lives.  I personally experienced many magical miracles. And then flipped to complete despair.

 

What I’ve noticed is the presence of the first question and not the latter.  Mindset is the key.

So what is mindset?

A mentor of mine recently gave me an amazingly simple definition:

 

“Mindset is the voice(s) in your head.”

 

That’s so true.  I hear my parents, teachers, and even people I don’t care for speaking in my head.

 

Who put these voices in our heads?

They get installed automatically throughout life.  Parents. Teachers. Relatives. Caregivers. Friends.  Facebook. The media…

 

The thing is, unless you are aware, you are being programmed all the time.  If you let it wash over you daily without consciousness, you are installing these voices.  The prevailing mindset of lack, poverty, and despair.

Reboot

The good news is, you can reinstall new voices.  It’s like upgrading your internal operating system to the latest, greatest version.  You choose your own voice.
Tomorrow, my son turns sixteen.  Sixteen! We’re about to start visiting colleges.  Think about focus of study. Plan out a course for life.
What I want most for him is to flip the questions.  Ask more empowering ones.
“How can I help?”
“What can I offer the world?  
What was I born to do?  
What are my gifts?

What makes me the only one?”

A Lifetime of Questions

Of course, questioning goes on for a lifetime.
We never completely know.  We are always discovering.

 

The journey of life and success IS the journey of discovering the answers to this question.  Life is self-discovery. And this question can change your life.

How can I help?

I hope this awakens something inside of you.  New voices = new life. This goes beyond parenting, music, education, business, whatever.  This is for you. And through you, you will light up the world.
“You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and place it under a basket, but place it on a lamp-stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.   Let your light so shine, so that they may see your good works…” – Matthew 5:14. the Bible

 

Categories
awakening growth success Wealth

What Is The Iceberg Principle Of Successful People?

People are like icebergs.  What we can see is only its tip .  There’s a whole lot going on underneath where we can’t see it.  There is a principle that successful people know.  I call it the “iceberg principle.”  

Success means a lot of different things to people.   No matter your definition of success is, though, I think we can all agree that we feel successful when we are in control of our lives, accomplishing things and feeling like we are making  a contribution to the world.  

The Iceberg Principle

Successful people use the “iceberg principle” to work on what’s underneath the surface.  

Just as icebergs can drift through oceans, melting along the way, many people drift through life until they melt into a puddle of oblivion, irrelevance and regret.   

What keeps some icebergs on a path to doom?  It’s all in the part you don’t see – steering it like a ship’s rudder.  The difference between the lost losers and successful folks  is what’s going on underneath:  their subconscious beliefs.

Subconscious Beliefs Are Controlling You

One of the most powerful subconscious beliefs people hold concerns money and wealth.

You can learn a lot about your or someone else’s iceberg – subconscious beliefs – by asking questions.  

Can you answer this question?

What is the first thing you think of when I ask , “How do you feel about money?”

Or, to put it another way, fill in the blank:  “Money is ____________________.”

Subconscious Beliefs About Money

When I was a young boy, I heard many things about money.  

  • “There’s not enough money.”
  • “Sorry, we can’t afford it.”
  • “What do you think, money grows on trees?”
  • “If we had money we could do it.”
  • “Money is the root of all evil.”

It’s no wonder that I have struggled with money and debt in my life.  

With subconscious beliefs like these, why would I ever want to be involved with  money?

Human Operating System – HOS

These controlling subconscious beliefs are like a human operating system.  Just as a smartphone has iOS  or Android, we humans have an operating system made up of beliefs.  Most of them, however, were never consciously chosen or designed by you.  You picked them up along the way.  And they are still resonating today.

Installing New Beliefs

How much more successful would I be if I grew up with beliefs like:

  • “Money is power.”
  • “Money is freedom.”
  • “Money is compassionate energy that I use to accomplish my goals.”

Skeptic’s Mind

You may think this is just mumbo-jumbo hogwash.  Woo woo New Age crap.  And, to be honest, a part of me is skeptical, too.  But, the childlike wondrous side of me says, why not?  Logically it makes sense.   The way I talk to myself definitely makes a difference.  Look at successful athletes and their powerful self-talk.   

Melt The Limiting Parts

It feels good to expose these limiting beliefs, because just exposing them is like melting these parts of my iceberg.

It’s Not Too Late

Another part of me (and maybe you?) is asking , “Well, isn’t too late?  I am what I am.”  And I get it.  It feels difficult and maybe even foreign to change your beliefs.  But let’s try a little experiment.

The Power Jacket

Over the next 30 days, think of it as if you were wearing a new jacket.  You are borrowing a power jacket.  Maybe it’s a nice blazer that makes you feel powerful, wealthy and in control.

Try saying to yourself, “I deserve to be wealthy.”   See how it feels.  Do you hear voices in your head making  negative or contrary remarks?  Interesting.

Write It Down

Take a blank piece of paper.  Draw a line down the center from top to bottom.  On the left, write the sentence “I deserve to be wealthy.”  On the right column, write whatever comes up.  It could be negative.  It could the voice of a relative.  Maybe it’s your father or mother.  Or maybe a neighbor or teacher?  

Do it at least twenty times.  Each time, write the corresponding response.  

Over time, you will notice the responses changing.  It’s very interesting!  Almost like a dialogue inside yourself.

Do it everyday until the responses change from negative to positive.  At some point, you may even “recruit” a supporter from that inner voice.

It sounds crazy and magical.  And it is.

Spending Money

Anytime you spend some money, tell yourself, “There’s plenty more where that came from.”

Holding on to money fearfully as if there were  not enough is also blocking the flow of wealth in your life.

By spending money  consciously, you add energy to the whole system and that energy  flows back to you.  We will talk more about this in a future post.

Money is just one area of your iceberg.  You can easily use the iceberg principle for health, relationships, spirituality and more.

Ancient Wisdom

These are not new ideas.  You can find them in every country  and spiritual tradition in the world.  But it seems we are a forgetful lot and easily distracted by shiny objects.  

Take some time for yourself to understand the iceberg principle.  

Carve the unseen part of your iceberg to guide you to new bluer oceans.  Send me a postcard when you land.  I’d love to know about your journey.

 

 

Categories
growth joyful living

How To Design An Exceptional Life

Are you feeling stuck?  There’s a way to take control of your life.   Whether you are looking to increase your wealth, health or happiness, this will make a difference.  You can design an exceptional life.  And you can get started right now.

To begin, let’s clear  the decks.  Your mental space, physical space;distractions ,noise.

Take a moment.  Shut the door.  Turn off all the sounds.  If you need to, get outside of your normal environment.  Nature can be therapeutic.

Let It Go

Using breath awareness can quickly transform your emotional and mental state.
Sit comfortably.   Take in a deep breathe and let out all the stress and anxiety of the day.  Breathe in, let it out, and do it again.  Flush out all the toxins by breathing out as long as you can until your stomach caves in.  Try to make your lungs as empty as possible with each breath.

Get Yourself in A Resourceful State

Breathe in deeply.  Now let it out slowly to a count of five.  Do this 5 times.
Now you are ready to tap into your greatest resources with questions.

Ask A Better Question

To improve the quality of a life, it begins with questions.  Isn’t thinking just questions?  (Hey, that’s a question!)

Most of us have the same average questions running in the operating systems of our minds.  They were installed long ago without us even thinking.

It’s funny when comedians say it, because they give voice to what’s inside our heads.
“Ugh, why do I have to go to work today?”
“Is he looking at me weird?  Why does everyone hate me?”
“Ugh, I can’t believe I did that.  What’s wrong with me?”

These types of statements and questions are so common and yet so damaging.  They make you feel terrible.  Would you speak to someone you care about in that manner? Then why do you speak to yourself that way?  These negative questions set a standard because the way they are phrased make it seem that they contain truth- but they don’t..

“Why does everyone hate me?”

Really?   I am hated – is that really true?  Of course not!
“What’s wrong with me” presupposes that there is something actually wrong with me.

These types of questions take you down a certain path that do not lead you to your best resourceful self and to your own exceptional life.

Here’s some daily questions I use to put myself in a fantastic state.

1) What Is My Mission?

Do you have a goal or goals?  What about more than a goal, do you have a purpose?  A mission?
By writing it down daily, it steeps into your consciousness.  It gets into your blood, your body, and triggers the magic.

2) If I Could Live Today Over Again?

Time is fleeting.  When I became a father, I became much more aware of time.  It’s incredible how fast it goes.  When my son was two, it was difficult as I was sleeping very little.  But then it was gone so quick.  He went from crawling to standing to walking to running and riding a bike.  It’s crazy.  By answering this question BEFORE the day begins, I become aware of what’s important right now and what I  NEED to do to make my use of this time complete.

3) What Is My Theme For This Year?

For the past few years, I’ve been using a theme to motivate myself.  It’s different than a goal which is usually external.  This is how I will act, be and feel as I move towards this goal.   Example, “The year of compassionate kindness and loving myself.”

4) What Do I Get To Enjoy Today?

You ever feel like everyone is having all the fun?  That everyone really is living like their Instagram and Facebook feeds?  To quiet this part of the mind, I use this question.  By answering it, I get to know that I have taken time to choose an activity that I too will enjoy today.  It’s important to have time to do what you enjoy.

Read a detective mystery.  Walk in the park.  Sit by the water.  Have a cup of tea.

5) Who or What am I Most Grateful For?

Gratitude has been shown to be the most important feeling for happiness in life.  So ask yourself a question that makes you feel grateful.  Start your day with gratitude flowing through your whole body.

I spend a few minutes giving thanks to my Creator.  My family, our well-being, our love and health.  My mentors, angels, teachers and associates who guide and help me every single day.  My Mom who left the world way too soon and gave me so many talents, gifts and confidence.  Thank you.  My mother-in-law, who taught me about kindness, compassion and welcomed me into her family.  My friend, mentor and teacher, Andy Blackett who has shaped my life in so many ways.

But Isn’t This Just Talking To Myself?

I know there is skepticism as to how asking yourself different questions  can actually do anything.  “I’m just talking to myself” you may say. But the way you talk to yourself, your “self-talk” or thoughts actually shape the way you experience your reality. Nothing is more important than learning to ask yourself the right questions to begin designing your exceptional life!

In future posts, I’ll delve into the metaphysical magic that makes this all work.  And I’d love to know how you get on with your lifestyle design.  Please share in the comments below.

 

Categories
growth

I Was Fired

I was fired.

It was a dream job.  Or what I thought was a dream job.  The pay was awful but the perks were amazing.  That’s the paradox of the music business.  All the free records, CDs and t-shirts you could possibly carry home daily.  Oh salary?  You want to get paid for this?

It was an independent marketing company.  I started as an intern even though I was only a junior in college.  It was not required for my coursework.  But I knew that the sooner I started, the easier it would be to find work in this crazy competitive industry.

We promoted music and bands that were so far from the mainstream.  With names like Anthrax and Megadeth, it was no wonder executives at major labels had no idea how to work this stuff.

On my first day at “work,” we ended early with beers at our desk for a birthday for one of the guys.  Then, we all went to see Metallica play a show at the Felt Forum.  Backstage, I met with a Who’s Who of heavy metal.   I was in heaven.

Remember Al Gore’s wife, Tipper? 

Around this time, the mid 1980’s, she and Susan Baker, wife of Treasury Secretary James Baker, started what became our greatest nemesis: the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC.)  It was probably Ozzy Osbourne, our client, who bit the head off a live bat onstage that caught her attention.

In testimony before Congress, Susan Baker said,  “There certainly are many causes for these ills in our society, but it is our contention that the pervasive messages aimed at children which promote and glorify suicide, rape, sadomasochism, and so on, have to be numbered among the contributing factors.”  The PMRC began pushing record companies for a ratings system, like the film industry, to warn parents about the evil music. 

Want To Sell More?  Get Banned

Of course, putting a sticker that says “Parental Warning” only made our clients music even more desirable to the kids.  Banned music?  I gotta hear this!  It probably was the greatest galvanizing force that helped our movement.

Epiphany

Because I joined a small company of less than 10 people, I was the lowest man on the totem pole.   One day I had an epiphany.  What if I recruited, trained and managed other interns?  Even though I wasn’t being paid, I could promote myself to management!

I presented my plan.  Of course, my boss agreed.  It was a win-win-win situation.  He had free labor.  I was promoted.  The interns were getting their first step into the music business.

An Army of Interns

We interns became part of a telemarketing force.  By calling independent, taste-making record shops across the country, we could introduce our clients and their music to the early adopters.  We would call, ship out a free package of goodies and soon, people in small towns would be talking about this cool new band, Guns N’ Roses.  This was back before the internet, mobile phones, Google.  Now it seems so antiquated.  But it worked.

Cold Calling

I became close friends with hundreds of shopkeepers and record store clerks by phone.  It was kind of amazing.  How could they resist?  I was just calling to ask them what was selling and if I could send them some free stuff that they would love.  It also really helped my shyness.  It was basically cold calling.  But the thing about cold calling, it’s a mental game.  You need to get past your fears, inhibitions and resistance.  I discovered that if I warmed up first by joking around with my colleagues, I would be in a better mood on the phone.  The hardest people were the owners of the stores.  They were busy!  They didn’t want to hear from some kid in New York City.   I started smiling before dialing.  Forcing myself to laugh right before they picked up the phone so that it was if we had already started the conversation and were past the awkward stage.  It worked incredibly well.  The more I just talked as if we had known each other already, the easier it was.  And, I truly believed in what we were doing and promoting.

And there was a side benefit.

It made me less awkward with talking to girls.  In fact, I made several long distance “girlfriends” over the phone.

So how did I end up getting fired?

Arrogance.

I was young, brash, impatient.  There’s a fine line between confident competence and arrogance.  And even though I had the support of my boss, I caused a lot of friction in the office.  In hindsight, I also realize there was probably a bit of envy and jealousy among my coworkers.  I was the golden boy of the office.  But I was too naive then to realize this.  I still believed in meritocracy. 

One day, my boss took me aside for some mentoring.  He said, “You’re like a wild horse.  You’ve got such great ideas, but nobody can ride you.”

And it was true.  Thinking back, it was a great gift to be fired.  I needed to move on and wouldn’t just quit.  I needed to be pushed.  And, I needed to get a wakeup call.  Creativity, passion and action are great, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t fit in.

The Nail and the Poppy

This makes me think of the old story from Asia.  “The nail that sticks up will be hammered down.”  I think that’s from China.  Pretty good summary of Communism.  Or I think in New Zealand they say” the poppy that sticks out will be cut.” It’s fit in or die.

This is a struggle I’ve had all my life.  How to be remarkable, unique and different and still fit in, somewhere.

I haven’t given up on meritocracy completely.  It’s just that I know there’s a balance in life.  You can be amazing, brilliant and unique but still be kind, compassionate and generous.  I’m not the man I was at 24.  Hopefully, a bit wiser, kinder and more generous.

I went on to get fired several more times in my life.  It seems, it took me a long time to realize I’m an entrepreneur at heart.

Categories
awakening growth joyful living process spirit

A new mantra to smooth out your day

What is a mantra?

A statement or slogan repeated frequently.

Many times, the words I hear in my head were not consciously chosen.  They just keep cycling through.  Things my Mom said or my Dad told me.  Sometimes they are not so good and I really need to excise them like a bloody tumor!

But words have power.

By designing the words that are in my human operating system, I can begin to change from within.

When I became a father, I consciously deleted all cursing from my vocabulary.  It wasn’t easy, but I really wanted to be a good role model for my son.  I used  to curse like a sailor.  And it wasn’t conscious.  I just picked it up from the environment I was in.  After a few months of catching myself, it became easier.

A new mantra

Everything that happens is neither good nor bad.  It just is.

Next time you feel frustrated, impatient and angry, realize that it is based on a judgement.

You are perceiving that something is not happening the way you think it should be.

No judgement.

Strike Should

The word “should” is a clue.  Whenever you hear it, run away.  Strike it from your vocabulary.  There are no shoulds.  Stop shoulding on the world.

No judgement.

Start using that phrase as internal mantra.  Your new self-speak.  Hear it in your head.  “No judgement.

Just let the moment pass over you as if you were watching from afar.  What used to cause you pain will have no effect anymore.

No judgement.

 

Categories
growth purpose

Chris Cornell asked me this question in 1990

I heard the terrible news about Chris Cornell’s suicide.  I was laying sick in bed with a horrible cold and had spent a few feverish nights.  It was something Chris said to me that echoed through my head for decades.

Back in the late 80’s, I was working as a freelance journalist for MTV and other publications.   The band had just signed to major label A&M, and their publicist was keen to set up an interview.

I absolutely loved the album.

Louder Than Love was the perfect combination of old classic riffs a la Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin fueled with some punk vitality.  I dived back to hear their earlier stuff on SubPop and was similarly impressed.  What also resonated with me was the ethnic diversity of Soundgarden.  As a young Asian American, I was astound by the fact that guitarist, Kim Thayil and bassist, Hiro Yamamoto were Asian!

Growing up in an all-white suburb on Long Island, I was an outsider all my life.  It was only through music, rock and roll, that I began to find some common ground with my peers.  I had never seen anything like this!

We set up an interview and met at a restaurant.  It was Chris and Kim and we just hung out.  Nice normal guys.  It was their first time in NYC and they knew about a party.  I tagged along.  We spent the whole night going from party to party.  At one point, we were hanging out with guitars and I showed Kim a funky slap style which he thought was kinda cool.

I wrote an article for MTV-to-Go Magazine.  Then wrote up a segment for MTV Headbanger’s Ball.    The album came out and was getting a bit of attention.  But this was still 1989.  Remember Bobby Brown’s My Perogative?   Straight Up from Paula Abdul and pretty boy hair metal bands like Poison were top of the charts.    Soundgarden was too dark and dangerous, yet.

About a year later, I was a panelist at an industry trade show for hard rock/heavy metal.  I ran into Chris in the parking lot and we greeted each other.  I was happy he had remembered me.  But then as he was turning to leave, he stopped and said, “Hey man, when are YOU going to be famous?”

I don’t recall what I said, but it was a strange feeling.  What does that mean?  Did he see something in me?   

Within a few months, I was selected as one of the new on-air hosts for MTV Asia based in Hong Kong with a satellite footprint of millions!  I was the daily host of the morning show, Classic MTV and a weekly top 20 countdown.

It was the early 90’s and I was living in Hong Kong, not in touch with the music scene in the US.   Asian audiences were very conservative and we were broadcasting Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey.

But, by December 1991, a bunch of us at MTV gathered to watch Nirvana’s new video, Smells Like Teen Spirit.  It was like a bomb had dropped.  It was fantastic and instantly I knew music was going to shift.  But I never expected it to change in such a big way.

When I was an intern at a marketing agency in the mid 80’s, we worked with under-served artists at major labels, specifically heavy metal bands.  No one at big labels knew what about this music or how to handle it.  It wasn’t played on mainstream radio.  It was underground.  And yet, hard rock and heavy metal bands had been filling stadiums for years.  A perfect problem to solve.

We broke these bands to a level of success.  But it was still far from the mainstream.

By 1994, Soundgarden’s album Superunknown debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200.  I was still in Asia and read it in the news.  I was shocked.  Soundgarden is in the mainstream?!  It was like music had changed overnight.  Nirvana broke the floodgates open and gone were all the teased hair pretty boys.

I recall thinking how I would probably get to interview Chris again at some point and tell him, “Hey man, do you remember what you said to me?”

It was probably an offhand remark.  I don’t think he would remember it.  But it was like he had given me permission to be something more than I even believed at the time.   

Thank you Chris.  For everything.  Your music, songwriting, voice, stage presence.  You were undeniably one of the greatest.

But for me, it was the gift of a question that reverberates still.

Photo: Variety
Categories
awakening growth purpose

How Do You Know If You Are In the Season Of Yes or No?

What Season Are You In?  The Season of Yes Or the Season of No?

So many times, you and I, we get stuck.  We get stuck in the details.

You say you’re going to create a new project?  But then, you look around and see that it’s already been done before.  Or something similar. 

You say to yourself, “Why even bother?  It’s not so unique.  It’s been done before.”

But the problem with that, is it may have been done, but not in your way.

You Don’t Always Have To Be First

Here’s the thing.  It’s not what you do, but how you do it that counts

You know how Apple has become the most valuable company in the world?  It’s NOT by being completely original, unique and novel.

No, what they are known for, is coming in with an improvement on what’s been done before.  Just last week, they announced a new home speaker with artificial intelligence.  Sounds just like the Amazon Echo, Tap, etc.  But, it’s a little different.  It’s done differently.  The execution is flawlessly Apple-like.  They’ve created an aura around their products.

Say you have an idea for a book that is kind of like a detective mystery, but in New York City.  How many detective books have already been set in NYC?  A ton.  But it doesn’t matter.  It’s how you execute the book.  It’s your style, your delivery, your voice that will attract others to your work.

WANT-TREPRENEURS

A lot of my clients have businesses or want to start a business. 

These “want-trepreneurs” have yet to take action because they have talked themselves out of it.  I hear, “Well there’s so many version of that already.  Or they say, “I’m a life coach, how am I going to make a difference when there are so many other life coaches in the world?”

Or

“How am I going to get enough music students when they can all just take Skype lessons or find one of the big schools.”

You can actually insert any job, role or title into this “Why does anyone need another ______ in the world?”

But why does anyone need any more of anything in the world?

This is no way to talk to yourself.  Self-talk, well that’s a whole conversation in itself – no pun intended.

You can always look at it as the glass being half empty, or half full.  It’s up to you.

The Danger of Over-Analyzing

If you over-analyze any project, endeavour, business venture – just about anything, you can always find a reason to say “no.”  But, you can also always find a way to say “yes.”

The Season of Yes

If you’re in the early stages of a new business, new career or want to start a new side project, then you need to be in the SEASON OF YES.   Say “Yes” to it all.  Opportunities can only come if you say yes and open the doors.  You never know what opportunities will happen that could not have happened without you taking a few steps in this new direction.

The Season Of No

Much later on, when you are established and humming along in your new project or business, that’s when you need to start shifting to the SEASON OF NO.  I heard of stories saying that Warren Buffet says no to 99% of the opportunities presented to him.  He is definitely in the Season of No.

Categories
growth joyful living musings photography recommended reading

Summer Is A Time For Renewal – Inspirational Input for Creativity

A glass of rose on the roof in Brooklyn, NY
Time for wine – rosé on the roof

Life is good.  I’ve been having an excellent summer.  Why?  Mostly because we planned some great recreation like a trip away to Puerto Rico, time on the beach, visit to the vineyards and just time to think and read.  Summer is a time for renewal, re-creation and getting inputs to creativity.  You can’t create if you’re empty!

Here’s some of what I’ve been thinking and reading lately.

Categories
growth joyful living

Using Power Poses To Transform Your Life

So most people living in the year 2014 know by now that there is a mind-body connection, usually in that direction. How you think and feel is manifested in your body and the material world. For example, you are feeling depressed and therefore you gain weight, feel sluggish, sleepy and your immune system breaks down and you catch a cold.

Research has now proved that there is a body-mind connection. Meaning, you can change how you feel by changing the way you move and hold your body. Tony Robbins has been saying his for years but recently Amy Cuddy, a social scientist and professor at Harvard Business School conducted an experiment. She wanted to test whether there were measurable changes in people depending on how they moved and held their posture.

Power poses are universal expressions of confidence and power and look like this:

Power Poses - High Energy Poses That Will Change Your Life

Low energy poses are also universal and look like this.

Low power poses diminish you from the outside in
Dr. Cuddy discovered that in nature and in humans, the dominant leader usually has a high testosterone level and a low cortisol level. Testosterone is usually associated with masculinity, aggressiveness, and power whereas cortisol is related to stress levels.

The subjects came in, they measured their hormone levels from their saliva, they held either a power pose or a low energy pose and then they ran a risk behavior test with a gambling experiment and then took another saliva sample.

The results were astounding. Just holding a power pose for 2 minutes can dramatically change the hormone levels either way. This can dramatically change someone’s life!

But will the results last? Will “Faking It Until You Make It?” truly transform one for good?

As someone who grew up very shy and awkward, I can attest to this, though I didn’t know that was what I was doing. I had found some “charisma” exercises in a book  and found them quite empowering. One of them was just standing looking at yourself in a mirror for 2 minutes with total love and acceptance. This was surprisingly difficult at first. We are programmed not to love ourselves and to nitpick and find all our faults. By doing this for a few minutes everyday, I can tell you I was a different person. Within a few months I was actually going on acting auditions and taking classes as an actor! This was unbelievable to my former self! Within 2 years I was a television host with millions of viewers every day.

So this can have huge effects on our children.  Just this morning was the first of 3 days of standardized testing for my son’s middle school.   So, what did we do besides a good breakfast and a sound night’s sleep…power poses!

My next student’s recital will definitely include some power posing before performance.

You should definitely watch the TED Talk. It’s one of the 50 most viewed!